So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it to many of you, but I gave notice to quit my day job. I am currently finishing out my final 2 weeks and then I’m a free woman. (For those who don’t know, I’ve been a property manager for the past 2 years and a darn good one at that – LOL. My boss is pretty upset with me for quitting).
Anywho, the whole reason behind it being that I was tired of spending all of my energy doing something I didn’t care about, while my real passion (music) was getting pushed to the back burner.
Last night, as my husband and I were driving home from a friend’s house, I was just sitting there staring out my passenger window and looking at the rain coming down, the city lights, and all of the cars driving around. I was thinking about the fact that the next morning would be back to work at my day job, and how excited I would be to finally be finished.
I started to day dream about the music I would be able to write, now having the time to actually spend on such ventures. And it occured to me how incredibly fascinating it is, with so many hundreds and hundeds of years of music that has been created, that there’s still enough to go around so that new music is always being heard. It’s sort of like trying to comprehend eternity.
And then, as my thoughts started delving deeper and deeper into that realm, my body started to tingle and my heart started beating faster. I just felt an overwhelming sense of excitement as I realized I was going to be able create new music.
It’s just, it hit me for the first time, that as a composer, I can create whatever I want and it’s not right or wrong. The possibilities are endless.
Ever since the age of 5 I studied Classical music and I had to practice what my teacher put in front of me. If I didn’t play the notes exactly as they were written in the music, then I was wrong. Please don’t misunderstand me though, I really enjoyed playing and performing Classical music and am grateful for the background it has given me. But at the time had never even remotely thought I would ever be able to compose anything of my own.
And now, having created music of my own, I can see that I was in a box before and have now been placed outside of that box with full creative rights to do as I please. It’s an amazing sense of freedom. Where there is only so much printed Classical music in the world to play, there are endless opportunities to compose.
I started to understand why creation is such a wonderous thing – whether you’re a new parent that just brought a new baby into the world, an engineer that just created new technology, or an artist who just painted a new masterpiece. I can’t explain it – it’s just incredible.
As we got off the freeway exit and headed up the hill towards our apartment, I looked up at the night sky with the millions of raindrops falling down towards me, and said a silent prayer and gave thanks to God for letting me be a part of the endless creative process that so many partake in: The creation of new music.